Friday, May 30, 2008

Of Disproportionate Importance

Here are some things that I've realized are quite important to me. Some of them disproportionately so.

A coffee mug needs to have a good thick ceramic (or possibly glass) rim or it is a waste of time. Is it wrong to ask what kind of mugs a person has before accepting an offer of coffee?

In the to-go variety, styrofoam pretty much ruins the experience, and even those plasticy feeling ones are not quite as good as the classic cardboard coffee cup.

If you can help it, always pee sitting down. Too much information? I was totally sold on this concept a few years ago and have never turned back. At first I felt like I was somehow less of a man for doing so, but how is it manly, let alone civilized, to spray urine all over the room? Have I said too much?

No pokes on facebook. Seriously. Don't poke me.

Try not to say "how are you" unless you mean it and have time to talk about it, and don't be offended if someone doesn't say "how are you". This social convention is so strong that I have trouble maintaining sincerity.

Well written dialogue and subtlety in television and film. Original lyrics in music.

Similarly, don't say you are going to pray for someone unless you are. I assume people who tell me they are going to pray for me actually do, but I know that too many times I've thrown this out flippantly and so I should try not to lie.

If someone has a problem with someone else and is telling you about it the first thing you should do is ask if they've talked to them about it. And since they probably haven't, the second thing you should do is talk about how they might do so. Again, there are social conventions here that are very hard to break.


When we are singing "worship" songs that use the word "me" or "I" when "us", "our", or "we" would be viable alternatives, I make the replacement. Not because "I" don't mean it or have nothing to do with it, but because we are just way too consumeristic and individualistic these days.

I do not want to see footage of celebrities coming out of buildings and getting into their car. Please don't show this to me. It makes me embarrassed for the human race.

Anyway, there you have it. Some are probably pretty important, and some probably are debatable, and some probably don't matter at all (and perhaps show I'm getting old!). Might as well admit them. How about you? Anything you've realized is of disproportionate importance to you right now?


Tara said...

now THAT was a fabulous list.

I think pretty much my whole life is disproportionate :) But TODAY in particular the importance of quiet in my house is disproportionately important to me. And delusional.

Anonymous said...

The handle on a coffee mug is also very important. It needs to be large enough for at least three fingers and I like the half rectangle shape rather than the half heart shape. I don't like it when my fingers slide down toward the bottom of the mug. Mom C.

jon said...

Can't say I'm a fan of the half rectangle shape, but can go either way. You are right though . . . three fingers is crucial.

Philip the Magnificent said...

Proper driving skills are very important to me. The correct use of turn signals, turning in to the correct lane, letting merging traffic actually merge, etc... (all of which are extremely lacking in the flat province that I live in).

Tony Tanti said...

This is a great post.

Celebrity footage makes me want to hurl. On the plane recently the lady across the aisle from me had half a dozen magazines full of celebrity shots and gossip. What a waste of paper, photos, time, life, vision and literacy.

I agree on the peeing.

If I say I'm gonna pray for someone, and then I do once, that counts doesn't it?

jon said...

yup tanti, i'd say that "counts"

i hear ya magnificent one

Colin Toffelmire said...

Proper knives. Ridiculous perhaps but I feel that a proper chef's knife is one of the single most important things to own. And not just proper knives, but proper Japanese knives. Only the Japanese know how to make a knife.

Colin Toffelmire said...

Also I agree about the peeing. I've been defending this technique since childhood. It is cleaner, and who the hell wants to stand when he can sit.

jon said...

wow, another closet "sitter"! fantastic. we will win the world yet.